We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of Pittwater.

 Roy Baker

Nettie Lodge performing in Noises Off. Photos courtesy of Oneill Photographics.

Our production of Michael Frayn’s play Noises Off closed in late June. After the (obviously well-deserved) praise heaped on it by Julliette Robertson in the last PON, I thought it time to reveal what really went on behind the scenes, and offer a little advice for future community projects.

I first suggested Noises Off to Scotland Island Players in October 2025. I had recently seen the 1992 film version, as well as numerous productions available online, and immediately realised that the play, though funny, was, as an offshore play, wholly unsuitable. 

Everything was wrong with it. Not only did it require a large cast executing highly technical physical comedy, it demanded an immense two-storey set consisting of eight doors and a window. If that wasn’t enough, the set needed to be turned by 180 degrees a third of the way through the play, then turned back again for the final act.

Even so, with indomitable offshore determination, plus an unhealthy amount of time on my hands, I came up with an adaptation that got rid of the upper storey and reduced the eight doors to five. But doing so was far harder than I ever imagined.

Frayn likened writing Noises Off to ‘building something out of jelly’. Having adapted the script, I understand what he means: change one line and the whole structure wobbles. The experience left me in no doubt as to Frayn’s genius, and perhaps the cast and crew were too polite to point out that the sections of physical comedy where we ran into the most difficulty in rehearsal were those where I’d needed to make the most changes.

Roy Baker and Alix Ah Pet in Noises Off

Other problems remained. Brilliant though it is, Noises Off was written in 1982 and is a product of its time. One character, Brooke (played by Alix Ah Pet), can only be described as the archetypal ‘bimbo’, a thoroughbred of the patriarchy. Even Frayn has expressed surprise at the play’s ongoing popularity, given the sexism inherent in Brooke’s character.

Fortunately, I had Jess McGowan by my side, acting as my gender conscience. Together we set about modernising the character, trying to make her not so much stupid as simply distracted. Alix’s performance added extra strength, not to mention some Gallic fury.

There was also unease about having a non-Arab dressed as a sheikh. Would anyone be offended? We dealt with the issue by referencing it in the play, following the questionable logic that if you’re planning to do something naughty, at least admit that you know it’s naughty. In the end, no one complained.

Then, with the script more or less in shape, the real trouble began. For a start, one of our actors decided to take the theatrical idiom ‘break a leg’ a little too literally. (Oh, how we milked that joke.) Fortunately, our director, Paul Kininmonth, found a mainland replacement.

But another problem was harder to surmount: the play is so bloody difficult! When performing, it’s easy to make a mistake. But just try pulling off multiple scripted mistakes, all while working with five swinging doors along with oversized boxes and bags within a wholly inadequate space. Even after months of intense rehearsals we still couldn’t get it quite right.

In the end, we could only hope that the deliberate errors would somehow blend with the ones we didn’t intend and the audience wouldn’t notice the difference. There’s a central paradox to Noises Off: it’s a play that demands precision, yet accommodates mistakes. That’s probably one reason why the play is so beloved of amateur groups: it’s challenging, yet you can muck it up and still get away with it.

Bruce Belsham in Noises Off

So how did we do? Well, the audience came: we issued 289 tickets, an average of 72 per night, which isn’t bad given that I’d estimated the hall’s seating capacity as 71. We are yet to receive a harsh word, and most importantly the audience actually laughed! You’d hardly believe how thankful we were for that.

We also made a modest profit, which will go towards the next SI Players production. Indeed, there’s a children’s play in the offing, with performances envisaged for this summer: watch for announcements in the PON.

Having lived the experience, what advice can I offer? In amateur theatre, the journey is at least as important as the destination. Plays involve a lot of people, and they will all have their own ideas, some of which you won't like. For that reason, if you ever decide to lead some offshore project, don’t expect the finished product to exactly reflect your original creative vision. Because it won’t. 

Inevitably, the cast and crew will want to participate in artistic decision-making, and that’s how it should be. We are amateurs and we are volunteers, limited by our abilities and our goodwill. In particular, putting on a play involves a lot of invisible, low-reward tasks. You can’t expect someone to put in that labour without affording them an opportunity for self-expression. 

Noises Off also left me with a question, one I have yet to fully resolve. At the very first meeting, I showed the film version of the play to the potential cast and crew. After the viewing, I remember Sophie Lepowic taking me aside and asking whether I really wanted to go to so much effort for just four performances.

Sophie’s question returned to me every time the production felt onerous, which, to be honest, was most of the time. My answer would not have always been particularly positive. Even so, I have a hunch that when, in my twilight years, I look back on my life, I shall appreciate that the rewards vastly outweighed the effort. And when I stood on that stage, receiving my community’s warm and generous applause, the answer was a most definite yes.

At the forthcoming island café (23 August: see below for details) there will be a presentation on local mosquito control. Below Juliet Wills shares some tips on how you can help make offshore Pittwater mozzie-free.

Mosquitoes don't respect property boundaries. They breed in tiny amounts of standing water and can travel from one yard to the next. A mozzie-free Scotland Island only works when we all work together.

Here are five simple steps every resident can take:

1. TOSS OR TREAT STANDING WATER
This first step is critical and costs nothing. Mosquitoes need only a tiny bit of water to breed – as little as a bottle cap! Toss standing water in tarps, buckets, plant pots, trash can lids, gutters, toys, and anywhere else it collects. If you can't toss it, treat it with the safe and effective larvicide Bti.

BTI Dunks kill mosquito larvae safely, and are safe for pets, wildlife and the environment. You can find them at most hardware stores.

2. MAKE A 'BUCKET OF DOOM'
Attract egg-laying female mosquitoes and kill the larvae before they grow up and bite you. Get a dark-coloured bucket, fill it with water and organic material like grass and leaves to mimic a breeding site, and place a Bti dunk in the bottom (see above). Refresh every two weeks.

3. DON'T SPRAY INSECTICIDE
Research shows it doesn't work. Mosquitoes become resistant quickly, and the rest of the ecosystem is harmed in the process, ultimately making the problem worse.

4. GET RID OF PLANTS THAT ATTRACT MOSQUITOES
Replace them with native plants that support the pollinators that eat mosquitoes.

5. TRAPS ARE OPTIONAL
Traps are not key to the success of this program, but if you'd like to use research-based traps, we recommend local supplier Mozzie Monitors Australia.

Why your neighbours matter
Mosquitoes can fly from yard to yard and even from one end of the island to the other. This program works best when the vast majority of residents get involved.

Get involved!
Join the conversation in the Scotland Island Mozzie Action WhatsApp group. Use it to share tips, ask questions, report problem areas and support each other. Every action counts – no matter how small! Let's blitz the mozzies this spring! Fewer bites means healthier families and a better summer for all.

Thank you for getting involved for our island and our community!

Juliet Wills

To book tickets, click here.

Volunteer Editor: Roy Baker

Supported by: Scotland Island Residents Association