Purim 5773 coincided with "Oscar Day" in Hollywood. In what has become an annual Library Minyan tradition of, Debbie Rich composed her yearly, poetic shpiel on the titles of the Oscar best picture nominees. By popular demand, and for the benefit of those who missed it in shul, here is this year's installment:
On Motzei Simchat Torah,
Norm Saiger said It’s great
This year Purim and the Oscars
Share the very same date.
So he asked and pleaded,
Even got down on his knees,
Could I prepare a Shpiel
Lincoln Purim with Best Picture nominees?
It’s not so easy as you think
With so many odd movie names,
Like, for instance, Django Unchained
Which only rhymes with mango served plain.
Argo find someone else,
I thought, but did not say,
Since the Library Minyan motto
Is to Come, Serve and Pay.
So today at Norm’s behest
I fulfill my Minyan duty
Though being here at this hour
Feels a bit like Zero Dark Thirty.
Before I begin, an idea to share:
Shul membership will grow, for sure,
If we simply rename the kahal
Beit Ahava Kedusha, or the Holy House of Amour.
One look at Rebbitzen Talia
And Cantor Fishman pregnant with child
Will draw young couples, from far and near,
Without pressure from Beasts of the Southern Wild.
They’ll ask themselves in secret
Or approach a congregant.
Is there something in the water?
Could it be in the cholent?
So now to the Purim story we go
Which stars our fair Queen Esther
Who lived a Life of Pi-ety
No matter how much Haman tests her.
But, wait, another issue,
To which I’ve given great thought.
Can someone tell me why Ralph’s Market
Displays Les Miserables matzo in Shevat?
What would wise Queen Esther say
If she knew that this was so?
Would she have convinced Ahashveros
To hang Haman side by side with Pharoah?
If that indeed came to pass,
A new dessert we’d be noshin
Instead of macaroons, we’d enjoy
Well, I’m totally off track,
Fermisht , that much is clear.
So if you want a Silver Lining Play,
Book Joel Grossman next year.