The Weekly Hash Headlines from Newcastle Hash House Harriers
The Coachman- Whickham
In recognition of the 400th Anniversary of the Bard and a whole host of enjoyable telly as a result
( The Hollow Crown, Cunk on Shakespeare, Upstart Crow etc) this weeks newsletter features an
early Shakespeare 'running' play written before he wrote his more famous plays, however the running plays
didn't really catch on as a genre.
You may recognise yourselves here....
The Coachman of Whickham ( the joke being there is no coachman and like all Shakespearean comedy requires
a lengthy explanation of each joke)
Knickerless The Hare
Inncon’s } Runners
BM } Widdlers Three
Julia } Gentlewomen attending
Let’s Do It Walking hare
Malteaser } Walkers
Slippery When Wet
Act 1 (Scene 1)
A scene outside a low tavern in the region of Northumbria,
Knickerless Welcome all, to this fair Whickham land, and especial welcome to our newest followers
who hath through some special report heard’st of our arrival here this night.
Be sure to attend closely and we will give you safe instructions of the trail.
Friends, hashers, countryman lend me your ears, now the bell has strucketh the seventh
hour, I am forsworn to offer you some gentle running into yonder fields, oneth oneth
All Oneth, Oneth
Act 2 (Scene 1)
Enter running gentlefolk attired in hose and linens, entering stage left and stage right.
Gandalf appears centre left
Gandalf Hail thou jolly fellows, it appeareth some bollards have sprung from the ground and so
I have park’ed my horse hither.
More running into wooded areas
Pimp Once more unto the breach dear friends, surely it is nobler in the mind to suffer the
creeping vines and brambles of outrageous fortune than by opposing get cut to
MP What ho, me thinks I see a frontus running bastardas check.
Pop Aye, halt upon the chalk and spend a while gazing amongst this scepted isle, this
earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, this other Eden.
Inncon’s But what is this, mine eye is much amazed, for is this not the ancient Morley mark
foretold to us ?
LHJ Indeed now must you follow fair instruction, returneth to the hare before he comes
BM Help ho, I have become stuck up this tree
Pimp Let us leave him to his folly, if those that pass themselves off as lateth in the twentieth year
become ensared in trees then that is thine own lookout and should be roundly mocked by all
Cue much mocking
Then more running, until a stile appears
GH For heaven’s sake let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories, arranging
Ourselves as if for a portrait of our evenings work, which can then be presented in
some form to the rest of the kingdom on the morrow.
Additional Running follows
Om I'm am me much fatigued of late, having run up hills and over yonder gate.
Where to rest ? o'er holding check
At last, regain my breath and learn my fate.
Knickerless We have arrived at a place of rest with walkers, refresh yourself my friends with beer
And enjoy a bounce on yonder trampoline here
All Oneth Oneth
Act 3 Scene 1
More running ( a bit slower)
Woof Woof Out out damm shiggy,
Gandalf Methinks I see an Inn before mine eye, be that a vision of my o'er heated brain?
3 Walkers Hail Runners all, we have already been imbibing the nectar of the gods from this treasure trove and
feasting on these delicious slivers of this newly discovered vegetable.
There now the race is run
The circle closeth, the day is done
Retire to drink and merry be
And look forward to the next hash shall we
All exit stage to tumultous applause
Thanks to the hares for a splendid run and beer stop entertainment
Special Stats and Notices
Curtain twitching ( exclusive to Whickham)
Skinny women spotted in Whickham – 1
Hashy birthday – 1
Red Kite – 1
Over excited hash hounds -1
Hash flashes – Multiple
Next Weeks Hash
Contact Details :
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