Look at me as me (actually slightly younger than me), young me, female me and old me (ie me). Something for all tastes there. I want to have sex with both female me and young me. But I am stuck giving hand jobs to the other two. At least they reciprocate, but it's no kind of life.
I am braving the Beast from The East right now and traversing the M4 to get to Cheddar for tonight's gig. To be honest, there is no snow at all and it's really sunny. I think all this snow nonsense is just FLAKE NEWS!
And there it is: my joke for 2018. I am going to take the rest of the year off.
Well apart from the following
So here's what's happening in February...
OH FRIG I'M 50! DVD KICKSTARTER
As you may know (and will be reminded later in this email) we're recording the OFI50 show in May at the Queen Elizabeth Hall. And as a way to determine interest and give you extra stuff for your support we have decided to raise the money for this via a Kickstarter campaign.
To thank the people who back the endeavours of Go Faster Stripe and hopefully give you extra value we are going to make a strictly limited edition luxury set of Oh F•ck I'm 40 and Oh Frig I'm 50, with two discs of extras. Only 1000 will be made and I am going to sign and number about half of them. This will be a real collector's item and I think it's likely this might be the only release on DVD (the download will be available to buy later). There's also the chance to get extra Emergency Questions, win the "Have you ever irked a postman?" EQ book, get hold of a Richard Herringised version of Penguin Race and get your own signed cheque for £15 x 2. Or get seats and backstage access at the recording and appear on screen behind Rich as he does his bit when he's in the audience.
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY
As usual I will be spending March 8th on Twitter, finding people who are asking "When's International Men's Day?" and then telling them.
Last year I asked people to donate to Refuge if they wnated to show support for the stupid thing I was doing and it seemed to work well, so this year we're doing it officially. If you want to spur me on by chucking me some cash and help raise funds for a brilliant charity that looks after vulnerable women and children, then donate here.
It's not even March yet and the total is almost £6000.
Some lovely idiots are choosing to donate £19.11 as a nod to the answer to the question. But every single pound is very, very welcome.
Or just sit back and watch me slide into mental breakdown by following @Herring1967 on March 8th.
Series 13 of RHLSTP continues apace. We have 8 podcasts in the can, including upcoming fun with Trev and Simon and Mackenzie Crook.
The one with Danielle Ward has just gone up today.
And in our continuing aim to pay for RHLSTP by giving you free stuff, you can also get some FREE BEER
from Beer 52 (who will give us £5 for every person who signs up) by using this link
. You will get 8 free beers (you have to pay £5.95 for postage) and if you wish can unsubscribe once you've got them, or stay in and get 8 craft beers a month for £24.
Or why not change energy providers and come over to Bulb who use renewable energy, have no contract, are likely cheaper than your current provider and who will give you (and me) a £50 credit if you sign up using this link
(and then you can persuade your friends to sign up too and get £50 for each one that does.
Still a few names to sort out for the series, but here's the confirmed guests
March 5th Katherine Ryan and Peter Baynham (NOT MANY TICKETS LEFT)
March 12th Brian Blessed and Pippa Evans (SOLD OUT)
March 19th TBC
March 26th Al Murray & Desiree Burch
April 2nd TBC
OH FR*G I'M 50 TOUR
The tour is going well and numbers are up (apart from in St Albans) and some of the gigs are selling out, so book early.
There's only one London date on May 4th at the huge Queen Elizabeth Hall and we will be filming it then. Get your tickets early
if you want a better chance of your face being recorded for posterity.
WE ARE ALSO DOING A KICKSTARTER FOR THE DVD RECORD, WITH SOME VERY SPECIAL EXTRAS AND A LIMITED EDITION LUXURY DVD SET. DETAILS WILL FOLLOW IN ANOTHER EMAIL VERY SOON
Check them out as there are new gigs added in Machynlleth and Wells and a second performance added in Brighton
These are the upcoming ones
But I am not really finding the time to update this. Will do my best to bring out another ep this week.
Matt Forde's Unspun
I did this a couple of weeks ago. They are meant to be putting my full set up soon, but in the mean time here's the first couple of minutes.
THE COMEDIANS AT THE KINGS
I am one of 24 comedians over 50 who are recording sets at the Kings Theatre in Glasgow on March 20th and 21st (can't tell you which date I am on, but I am in Colchester on 21st, so see if you can work it out) in the hope we can make a TV show.
And if you want to help us make even more podcasts, and get festooned with amazing extras including all the RHLSTP backstage interviews, downloads of all my stand up shows, exclusive video question and answer sessions, entry into a monthly prize draw PLUS find out the RHLSTP guests before everyone else then why not become a Dripster
You'd be paying less than a pound a week in return for 365 blogs and about 40 RHLSTPS.
If you want pretty much all of that, but not the stand up shows (not sure if you'll get the Q and A sessions either) then set your own price and become a monthly badger.
This is very much an either/or choice with whichever package suits you best.
Series 2 of this is happening and we're recording it in May (though I haven't written any of it yet). I suspect it will be on Radio 4 in September-ish.