The Weekly Hash Headlines from Newcastle Hash House Harriers
The Job Bulman, Gosforth
Hash R*n 1334
The Walkers Story, Yes folks this week the editor went undercover with the Walkers ( or over to the Dark Side)
For the second week running Walkers were dangerously close to outnumbering R*nners.
Is Newcastle Hash House Harriers entering a more perambulatory phase ? Will the Walkers ever master the map? and what does Mary Poppins keep in the boot of her car ? For answers to these exciting questions and more stay tuned after the following public broadcast announcements
”Costa Coffee – Just when you want a coffee at 8pm , our shop in Gosforth closes at 7pm” !
“Know how to read a map ? – Join the Walkers! There’s nine of them and they still went the wrong way”
“Can’t find a parking space in Gosforth ? Yep that’s because there is only 25 spaces !”.
" Think you've got a nice house ? Come to Gosforth and see what real houses are made of".
And onto tonight's top story
Hashers met at The Job Bulman , just as the light begins to fade. The Walking Contingent, having being appraised of the route, immediately headed off in the incorrect direction before being headed off by Mary Poppins and her trainers. Having passed the park, the hash headed on into the rather exclusive Grove Estate, scaling the gates to gain access. Security was quickly called by concerned residents noticing a dodgy and definitely un-Gosforthian group entering the premises. Lubri attempted to defuse the situation by whispering softly but it was to no avail. Malteaser and Botany were quickly identified as the ringleaders and frogmarched from the premises.. At this point the rest of the group scarpered, re-joining at the exit, bloody, bruised but unbowed.
At this point Counterfeit (unusually for him) launched into song and so the group shuffled off to the refrains of “ we will, we will not be moved”.
After all the excitement the weaker members of the group began to fall behind as they crossed the metro, Grasshopper succumbing to a bad case of writers block, whilst Artichoke overcome by the local housing stock, fell to reminiscing about millionaires row in Ponteland.
Everyone enjoyed a good neb in the houses of the wealthy, (there is no finer entertainment on a winters eve) before heading bck along the high street (ignoring the map) and returning to the car park, therein to wait 20 freezing minutes with nothing but a can of ginger beer and prawn cocktail crisps for company.
Apparently the runners did some kind of run…. ? But they didn’t really mention it.
Highlights included ( according to one BM, wishing to remain incgnito as usual )
Hash Sab - The Perfect Shamrock
Knickerless Funeral arrangements
Holding check in Ireland ( I.e a traffic island - its so bad it's good)
As well as a quickfire history of Misled's place of work, first house, a misrembered tree and a holding check where Misled lost her virginity.
Circling was quickly completed due to chills, badges saying "I’m a girl" we’re given out to all the males and down down’s were completed in double quick time.
A fantastic run and walk - thanks to the hare for a lovely evening out
Stats and Special Notices
Dophins -0 Hounds - 1
Walkers 9 Runners -9
Bets about Milk and Winking - 1
Guinness - Topical brew of the night
Hashers appropriately attired for St Patricks Day - 5
Costa's - Lack therefore = 1 sad Harriet
Suggestion of a Hash Thermos for Tea/ Mulled Wine - Unanimous
Not enough luxury houses
Envy scale of aforementioned luxury houses - off the scale
Next Weeks Hash
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