All my life as a dutiful son, I have tried to play by the rules. It took me decades on this planet to realize that some of the rules were erroneous and had to be unlearnt.

	College brought the makings of my downfall. Food, alcohol, sex, and money were a few of my isms.

    Born into a middle-class family, I never wanted for anything and thought the world was my oyster. It did not occur to me that there was something I could not have. If I wanted something and just worked hard enough for it, voila, it would be there. The thought that I was not deserving or entitled did not enter the picture.
    First and foremost, there was my school. Did not everyone get an A if they worked hard enough? An A was expected of me, given all my advantages and pedigree. Didn't graduating from high school at the top of the class prove it?
    However, even though I had perfect attendance for the year, not winning a prize led to self-loathing, so did failing at my predetermined physical recovery goal after doing all the work and following all the rules. It was time for a new way.
    College brought the makings of my downfall.
    Food, alcohol, sex, and money were a few of my isms. Fortunately, I was spared gambling and drugs. However, I did not know that it would take over two decades for me to begin finding recovery.

	I started down the path to a permanent recovery and a contented useful life.

    At age thirty-six, an old classmate introduced me to the twelve steps. He had recovered from his alcohol problem and said the twelve steps could help me with my food problem. It is ironic that this took place some mere weeks before the founding of Recoveries Anonymous. The knowledge that R.A. would provide an answer to all my problems eluded me for another three decades.
    The night after the very first Twelve Step meeting I ever attended, I went home and read from cover to cover a booklet I had found at one of the meetings I attended. It discussed the Twelve Steps and sponsorship in that fellowship. I sighed and said, "Well that's done, now what's next?" That was thirty-five years ago when I knew all the answers. Now, I have unlearnt these false answers. I have learned that I do not have the answers, but through Recoveries Anonymous, I now know where to look.

(This story continues in the next section of this newsletter.)

All of my previous Twelve Step experiences came from warm, loving, helpful people. I believe that they sincerely wanted me to recover. Like the dutiful son, as soon as I learnt and followed all the rules, my recovery from any particular ism would be guaranteed by my dedication and hard work. Have a weight problem? We have a program for that; alcohol, one for that; money or sex, got that covered too.

	Then, five years ago, I rediscovered Recoveries Anonymous.

    Over those three decades, there was a lot of physical success; a weight loss of over one hundred pounds three times; plug in the jug for over thirty years; reversal in financial fortunes, bouncing from relationship to relationship, and then a stable marriage. However, the Twelve Step program has built-in complacency; one hundred pounds down three times, but up again four times; plug still in the jug, but mean and miserable; credit card debt was gone, but replaced by online shopping. The only stability to my life has been a warm and loving spouse. She is a direct gift from a request to my concept of the divine.
    Then, five years ago, I rediscovered Recoveries Anonymous. I had tried it fifteen years earlier, but I had just changed the name of the meeting I started. I continued to practice the program in the same way I always did. This time I began to work the Twelve Steps the R.A. way. I started down the path to a permanent recovery and a contented, useful life.
    A warm and loving new friend shared the path with an old friend, me. His experience was that driven people like me had a fixed goal, and anything less than perfection attaining that goal was a failure. Intellectually this knowledge arrived early to my brain but would take years to arrive at my heart. Nevertheless, I have learned that this is the only path to my concept of the divine.

I am a slow unlearner. It took years, but I have unlearnt the old concept that I am alone and have to do it all myself.

    The key was following the pioneers' original "clear-cut directions" to work all Twelve Steps. I did this by using R.A.'s Step Presentation. My R.A. Sponsor took me through R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, page-by-page, paragraph-by-paragraph, and sometimes sentence-by-sentence. This was but a mere start. At the Twelfth Step, I found the joy of carrying R.A.'s message to others. Thanks to modern technology, I can now work with others anywhere in the world.
    The Almighty has granted me my threescore and ten, and now I truly am working on the gravy. I have always believed that we are here to learn lessons. If we choose not to learn the lesson, God will be happy to send it to us again. When there is no more to learn, our time on the earth will be done.
    I am a slow unlearner. It took years, but I have unlearnt the old concept that I am alone and have to do it all myself. I now walk R.A.'s spiritual path with my loved ones at home and in the broad fellowship of Recoveries Anonymous.

R.A.’s “How To Begin…” Guides
To find out more about our Twelve Step Fellowship, and how you can get started working the Twelve Steps of our Solution Focused Program of Recovery, we suggest that you visit our website and Download R.A.'s free "How To Begin…" guides. This includes the blue R.A.'s Newcomer Guide, and the brown "R.A.'s Meetings Guide."

R.A.’s Solution Focused Books
    Move up to the next step in your search for recovery by downloading and reading the PDF versions of R.A.'s Solution Focused Books. We do not charge for the PDF versions of our books. Instead, we give the passwords needed to open our books to thank those who support our efforts to help others. You can show your support by making a small, one time, tax-free contribution to R.A., or, if you truly cannot afford to make a contribution at this time, by filling out our Feedback Form.
    If you are reading this, you have probably spent a lot of time and energy trying things that did not work out the way you hoped they would. Doesn't it make sense to invest a little more time and energy in this time-proven method of finding the recovery you've been seeking? As the pioneers promise in the Multilith Big Book: ''It works—it really does. Try it.''

R.A. Is Self-supporting
If R.A. has helped you, please consider making a contribution in support of our efforts to help others.

Recoveries Anonymous
For more information about Recoveries Anonymous visit our website at www.R-A.org