Iwas born with a jealous, insecure nature right alongside all the blessings I had. I always felt that my mother loved others more than she loved me. I suffered from this while I was growing up. My mother would listen to the advice of my sisters above my own. She would buy things for my sisters instead of for me. She was kind to my cousins. Every act of kindness to others made me feel that I was being deprived of her love and attention.
    I got married. I was delighted to be my husband’s one-and-only. However, I then began to have the same problem. I started to feel that my husband was seeing and valuing qualities in others above my own. This included my youngest sister who is similar to me in nature and looks. He would make innocent comments like, “Your sister cooks a very good meal.” This completely threatened me. It stressed my very being, so much so that I started getting depressed.

	It stressed my very being, so much so that I started getting depressed.

    Our marriage was being negatively affected, and I ended up going to therapy for help. Each time I went, I got temporary help, but it did not last long term. Therapy explained why I felt the way I did. However, I still didn’t get the secure feeling that my husband was all mine.
    I would talk for hours and hours trying to explain my side of things. However, I felt that people didn’t get it. They didn’t get the sadness that I was feeling. I joined a Twelve Step fellowship in my search for help, and I felt better with myself because I lost a lot of weight. I felt appreciated for doing that.
    After being in that fellowship for a few years and still suffering from my negativity, I ended up joining Recoveries Anonymous. In R.A., I worked all Twelve Steps by going through R.A.'s Step Presentation. As the result of thoroughly following all the pioneers' "clear-cut directions," I finally understood that I was beyond human aid and that no therapist, no friend, no human being could fix me. I learned that trusting in, and relying upon G-d is the real source of my recovery.
   In R.A., I had a vital spiritual experience. Dr. Jung describes what this means. He does this in R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, on page 12. He says, “They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.”
    Here is what "emotional displacement" means to me. For example, I used to think that if I kept out of the way of my sister, if we were in different countries, my life would be much happier. Instead, in R.A., I have learned that I need to do God’s work. This means Steps 10, 11 and 12. Every day I ask G-d to remove my character defects such as resentments and fears, etc. I stay close to G-d by doing my daily quiet time and understanding that everything is in G-d’s hands. Most importantly, I intensively work with people in R.A. who need my help. This is how I stay spiritually fit. When I do this I find that G-d will do for me, what I cannot do for myself.
    As it says on page 38 in R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, “You will see that your new attitude toward liquor has been given you without any thought or effort on your part.” To me, the word “liquor” means my negative thinking. The paragraph continues, “It just comes. That is the miracle of it. You are not fighting it. Neither are you avoiding temptation...You feel safe and protected...The problem has been removed...That is how we react as long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
    I am not perfect. As the pioneers write on page 27 in R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, “No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.” However, I definitely have a daily reprieve as long as I keep in fit spiritual condition through work and self-sacrifice for others. Today, when I do find myself drifting into negative thinking, instead of spending hours on the phone or in therapy, I go to a much more positive place. I search for newcomers and try to give of myself. I also continue to ask God, in my daily quiet time, to help me with my problems.

	I try to practice R.A.'s spiritual principles all year long. I enlarge my spiritual life through intensive work and self-sacrifice for others.

    Now, I am very happy to give of myself because I can see the results. For example, the last time I prepared to travel to see my parents, I reacted sanely and normally. I did not get in a tizzy of anxiety. Instead, I asked God to show me how I could be useful to others. I said to Him, "Thy will, not mine, be done." As soon as I feel myself getting anxious, debating if I "should do this or that," I recognize that I am being self-centered again and that I need to turn to God.
    Sometimes in my marriage, I experience challenges. The pioneers address this issue in R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, on page 54, they say, "The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test. You must regard these workouts as part of your education…you will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down...a better way of life will emerge when they are overcome." This is now my experience.
    I do not wait for bad situations to come up and then work Steps 10, 11 and 12 to “fix” them. I try to practice R.A.'s spiritual principles all year long. I enlarge my spiritual life through intensive work and self-sacrifice for others. Then, as it says on page 7 in R.A.'s Multilith Big Book, I can “survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.”

R.A.’s “How To Begin…” Guides
To find out more about our Twelve Step Fellowship, and how you can get started working the Twelve Steps of our Solution Focused Program of Recovery, we suggest that you visit our website and Download R.A.'s free "How To Begin…" guides. This includes the blue R.A.'s Newcomer Guide, and the brown "R.A.'s Meetings Guide."

R.A.’s Solution Focused Books
    Move up to the next step in your search for recovery by downloading and reading the PDF versions of R.A.'s Solution Focused Books. We do not charge for the PDF versions of our books. Instead, we give the passwords needed to open our books to thank those who support our efforts to help others. You can show your support by making a small, one time, tax-free contribution to R.A., or, if you truly cannot afford to make a contribution at this time, by filling out our Feedback Form.
    If you are reading this, you have probably spent a lot of time and energy trying things that did not work out the way you hoped they would. Doesn't it make sense to invest a little more time and energy in this time-proven method of finding the recovery you've been seeking? As the pioneers promise in the Multilith Big Book: ''It works—it really does. Try it.''

R.A. Is Self-supporting
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Recoveries Anonymous
For more information about Recoveries Anonymous visit our website at www.R-A.org