The Weekly Hash Headlines from Newcastle Hash House Harriers
The Swan, Heddon on the Wall
Recipe for the Perfect Hash
Hash No: 1342
1 hare (preferably floured)
A good turnout of hashers (between 12-25 being an optimum number)
1 pub – beer optional
A sprinkling of sunshine,
2 trails ( 1 running and 1 walking)
A collection of superb valley views
Multiple FRBs ( equally divided along the trail)
4 Morleys – generally near inclines
1 Close House
A dash of woodland trails, river paths, cycleways, immaculate golf courses and tracks,
1 shaved dog ( lead can be disposed of throughout the cooking period)
1 Giant Hill to finish them off
1) Take your hare and check it has laid a trail around Heddon on The Wall.
2) Gather together some hashers of the running or walking variety, both are perfectly acceptable for this recipe but a mixture of both is desirable for taste. At the appropriate time depart from the local hostelry, ensuring all hashers have managed to park in an appropriate space without swearing.
3) Head immediately downhill so all hashers are aware that they will have a massive hill climb at the end, this will put in the perfect temperament for the run and help them reach boiling point more quickly. Dotting a few morleys early on will also help. FRB’s should be spaced at regular intervals throughout so that there are opportunities for hashers to rest and stop the pack disintegrating. Make sure the route is well floured and that you keep the hash OFF THE GRASS. There will be an opportunity for photos throughout but be careful as they will all appear on Facebook the next day, regardless of how unflattering they may look. Remember also to shout loudly at innocent passer buyers, mistaking them for hashers will pass the time.
4) When the church bells chime by the river, your hash will be partially complete but not completely knackered. This is an opportunity.
5) Present the hash with a large steep hill, this will force them to run upwards causing all the blood to run to their legs making them tender and delicious when they reach the top.
FRB’S can be used as resting stations at this point and can be used to swap the longer running hashers ( they normally have longer legs) to pass on the FRB to shorter legged variety. This is not normally allowed on a hash but as the hill is very very steep, this is excusable.
6) Once all hashers have returned red faced and sweating, make sure there is some confusion about where the circle will be held causing faffing and multiple unlocking of car boots dangerously close to walls.
7) Finally chant the final incantation, add a libation of beer, a soupcon of crisps, multiple down downs before retiring to the pub. Your perfect hash has been completed well done – Serve immediately with beer and crisps.
Another fantastic run/walk – Thanks to the hare - Many many further pics available a la facebook courtsey of BM.
On On Grasshopper
Before the Big Hill
Spotted - A partially running Counterfeit - watch this space !
Next Weeks Hash
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