It may centre on something trivial (e.g. leaving dirty cups around) or something more complicated (e.g. a personality clash; trying to force somebody to do something against their principles).

 

10 tips to facilitate conflict between parties:

 

• When’s the best time/place to tackle the issue?
• The longer the conflict festers, the more feelings get entrenched

• Explain the situation in a non-emotive way
• Get across the effect of what has happened
• Be positive in the introduction. For example:
  • “I do want a productive outcome for both of you”
  • “I really want to clear the air because it’s not good for any of us”

• For example:
  • Listen to each other’s view point
  • No talking over each other
  • Avoid sarcasm or flippancy 

• Encourage debate not argument
• Control the conversation assertively if it gets confrontational e.g. “Look John, I know that you’re emotional about this however you do need to avoid comments like that last one”
• Remain neutral and calm
• Feedback to those who display destructive negative emotion e.g. glaring/ finger pointing; sarcastic remarks; yes butting ; personal remarks

• When people are emotional they are not rationale. They exaggerate. Demands are not reasonable. Letting them get it off their chest promotes reduction in emotion and increase in rational problem solving

 

• Ask both parties for a solution or way forward
• Voice positiveness e.g. “There must be a way to solve this”
• Look for win-win outcomes if possible

• To ensure nothing is missed out and to promote clear communication
• Summarise back any agreement and check that each party is committed to the solution/approach

• To reflect on what they’ve said and to check how people are feeling
• An overnight break might help people understand/ compromise more

• Check with parties later to gauge the effectiveness of the facilitation