The Weekly Hash Headlines from Newcastle Hash House Harriers
The Powder Monkey, Wallsend
Hares, Woofers and Counterfeit
The Walkers Version......Cub reporter BM, live from the field
A Tale of Two Shiggies: A Walkers Guide to The Galaxy
As I went through my usual Wednesday afternoon schedule (skive off and leave work early) there was trouble afoot – literally. My phantom (not of the opera) foot injury had returned, so I had to bail on accompanying the ever-keen Grasshopper r*nning to the pub. Woof Woof kindly improvised and offered me a lift, and I decided (after 184 r*ns) to make my wa*king debut.
Led by Counterfit, joined by Slippery When Wet and Touch and Go, and trailed by H30, Malteaser and Watsawrong, we departed the Powder Monkey with the Rising Sun Country Park an obvious destination. It’s been a nearly a year since I had the pleasure of hashing with the great man, and Counterfit led the way; stickless and as sure of his route as I was about voting REMAIN in June. The r*nning pack passed us early on and weren’t seen again until the Onn Inn.
As we neared the edge of the country park, a broad, Yorkshire cry of “On On” came from behind us. “Who could that be?” we wondered, but our queries were soon answered as Rectum and Fish Flaps appeared. After a quick chat about Garmin™ watches (other brands available), they shot off in hot pursuit of the rest of the pack.
Some heavy panting ensued as we neared the brow of the Pit Heap Hill, and I was worried that Counterfit wasn’t going to make it until I turned around to see a non-hashing runner powering up the hill. After a failed recruitment attempt (he was wearing headphones and in the ZONE) and a local geographical lesson involving lots of digit wiggling and dialogue along the line of “it’s over there!” and “where?”, we were descending the heap and making our way back out of the park and to the On Inn.
We were greeted by alternative w*lkers Slippy and Lubri (who had walked to the end of the street and back again) enjoying a pint and a tab. Soon after the r*nners (led by Billy Whizz II and stalwart front r*nner InnConts) returned, and we all lived happily ever after.
A pleasant evening with a scenic walk, but I’m looking forward to getting back to the r*n next week. After all, I have 10 days to train for the GNR!!!
The Runner's story........
A good turnout of hashers for last evening’s hash, which once again was warm and sunny. Woofers, (the running hare for the evening and already sporting some credible criminal history with the Rozzers in Wallsend - see The Walls End hash write up from 2015 ) was looking especially shifty as she detailed the markings to the newbie s before calling for the off and blending seamlessly into the group so as not to arouse suspicion.
Rumbustiously running off into the heart of the nearest housing estate, the hash overtook the walkers, many of whom were claiming unconvincing injuries, before taking the road less travelled to the Rising Sun Country Park. Heading up the tracks to a stunning hash view, the pack dispersed across the hill before discovering flour and heading down to ground level.
Grasshopper then stunned herself by being in the front of the pack and carried away on a wave of elation failed to spot the FRB nestled in the verge.
Latecomers were spotted as the herd rounded the farm stables as Rectum and Fishflaps hove into view, before the pack zoomed across the tracks and round to the furthest point in the park. Aficionados of the new Rising Sun Park Run© debated the finer details of the park run route before the pack turned into the mysterious gloaming of a small and neglected forest track.
Hashers then enjoyed a fine time of relentless trail twisting, vying for the front of the pack as the path halted and disappeared at various points. Nettles, sharp bushes, shiggy, burnt out motorbikes and wire fences were in abundance across the trail allowing the hashers to gather a fine array of scratches as is only expected on a good hash.
Finally the path reappeared on more civilised ground as the hash enjoyed a ‘spot the only stag’ competition, before the group headed out of the park and back to the pub for a jolly good circle before a surprise appearance by Joseph - who having arrived late followed the trail and arrived mid circle – (good going we salute you) and further beer.
A fine run with plenty of variety and a new path, thanks to the hares – v enjoyable!
Special stats and notices
Wildlife spotted – Horses, hounds, rabbits, cats and a stag
Latecomers – 3
Widdlers – None spotted ( BM was walking)
Hash hounds – 1
Sandwiches – 1
Newbies – 2
Walking walkers – half a dozen – including those injured by the pace of modern life
Pubbing walkers – 2
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