King of the Lions - "new" story

Recording eerie tales this fall

SOAP, SOAP, SOAP A woman was washing clothes but she ran out of soap.  She called her little boy. “Jack," she said, "You go on down to the store and bring me back some soap. Now, don’t forget. What are you going to buy?” But Jack didn't know. “Good thing I asked," she said. "Get me some soap! Now you say it. Soap!” And Jack said, “Soap.” “That’s right! now, say it again.” “Soap,” says Jack. “Soap Soap Soap!” “That’s good, Jack. Just keep on saying it like that, over and over, all the way to the store, so you don’t forget.” And down the road he wentL 'Soap, soap, soap. Soap, soap, soap. Soap-soap-soap. Soap-soap-soap." [Start by just saying the words, then let repetition turn them into a happy song-like chant, maybe starting with the first three notes of “Three Blind Mice.” ] After a while he came to a place where the road was slippery with mud, and he fell— right into the mud. Got up, cried a little bit, then tried to think what his momma sent him for, but he couldn’t remember. “Oh, no, I lost it!” he said. “I lost it right here.” He said, "Maybe if I go back to where I had it, I can get it back," and he ran a ways back the way he’d come, said, “Well I had it here.” Then he went back to where he fell and said “Here’s where I lost it.” Went back again “Had it here.” And back again, “Here I lost it.” Back and forth faster and faster. “Here I had it. Here I lost it. Here I had it. Here I lost it.” [Several more times, faster and faster.] A man came over and said, “What did you lose, son?’ “Here I had it. Here I lost it.” “Maybe I can help you.” “Here I had it, here I lost it.” “I give up, you kids are crazy these days.” And the man started down the road, and he got to same place Jack had slipped and he slipped too-- right in the mud. When he got up he sad, “Doggone,” he said “that road’s slick as soap.” And Jack said (Show Jack's big“Eureka!”moment, cartoon-like — Aha! -- lifted eyebrows, wide eyes, big smile. forefinger up) “Soap!” [back into the happy skipping chant.] 'Soap, soap, soap. Soap, soap, soap. Soap-soap-soap. Soap-soap-soap." Man thought he was laughing at him, so he grabbed him and shook him him and said, (angry) “Bad boy! Don’t laugh at me! Anybody could fall in the mud like that! Now, say you’re sorry and you won’t do it again.” (crying) “Sorry I done it, won’t do it again. Sorry I done it I won’t do it again.” So the man let him go, and the boy went on down the road. [transition by degrees from crying to sniffling to a happy chant] “Sorry I done it, won’t do it again. Sorry I done it I won’t do it again Sorry I done it, won’t do it again. Sorry I done it, wont do it again.” Went down the road and he saw an old woman getting up out of the ditch. She’d been carrying eggs, but fell in the ditch and landed right on top of her eggs, and they all broke. Here she was was just getting up, with the eggs all dripping off her, and Jack comes around the corner. “Sorry I done it, won’t do it again. Sorry I done it, wont do it again. ” The old woman hollered at him. “You bad boy!” she said, "I'll teach you to make fun of an old woman!"And she pushed him down into the ditch, right where she’d been lying. “Now— I’m out, and you’re in.” Jack got up, all covered with mud and egg, and started back down the road, (as before, transition from weeping to happy chant-- maybe ending up with a cadence that could be misinterpreted as taunting " nya-nya nya nya-nya".) “I’m out, and you’re in. I’m out and you’re in. I’m out, and you’re in. I’m out and you’re in. ”   He came to a place where there was a man whose wagon was off the road, had one wheel stuck in the ditch, and he was trying to get it out. ”I’m out and you’re in I’m out and you’re in.” The man caught the boy. “Don’t make fun of me, boy, give me a hand. I already got one wheel out, now help me get the other one out.” So the little boy had to help him push that heavy wagon back up onto the road, and then he was on his way again “One’s out, get the other one out. One’s out get the other one out. One’s out, get the other one out. One’s out get the other one out" And then he met.... (put your hand over one eye and look at the audience) ..... a man with one eye. (Wait for a reaction Now, back to the happy boy) “One’s out, get the other one out. One’s out get the other one out.” The one eyed man grabbed him and yelled “Bad boy! What a mean thing to say! I can’t help what happened to me, I'm doing all right. You should say ‘One’s in, anyway.’ Now, say it!” (crying) “One’s in anyway. “One’s in anyway.” “Now get out of here before I call your mamma and tell her what you said.” So the boy went down the road “One’s in anyway. One’s in anyway.” (as before, transitioning from sad to happy, to nya nya.) “One’s in anyway. One’s in anyway.” And he came to a place where there was a woman with her kids have a picnic by the river, and one of her babies had just fallen in the water. The mother was scared almost out of her mind, and was rushing in to rescue it, and she hears Jack coming down the road: “One’s in anyway. One’s in anyway. One’s in anyway. One’s in anyway” She scooped baby up out of the water, and then ran over to yell at the boy. But as soon as she caught him, he started crying. She looked at him there, all covered over with mud, and eggs, and bruises, and tears, and all she could say was, “Young man, you go straight home and tell your mamma to wash you up with soap.” (“Aha!” reaction again— even stronger than before.) “Soap!” Running back down the road (song) “Soap soap soap! Soap soap soap!” Got to the store “Soap soap soap! Soap soap soap!” Ran all the way home. “Soap soap soap! Soap soap soap!” And he gave his mother the soap. She took one look at him, and she picked him up and dropped him in the washing machine, clothes and all, and turned the dial to “heavy soil.” And when the wash was done, she took him out, got a couple of clothespins, and hung him up on the line to dry.