The Oracle of Appliance Enlightenment®
March 2009

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New Apprenticeship Programs

In my tireless efforts to offer ever more features and benefits to the swarms of grasshoppers hopping into the forum each day seeking appliance enlightenment, I've re-vamped the Apprentice Appliantologist program.  Now there are three types of apprenticeship programs to choose from:

Program Term Cost Features
Apprentice Appliantologist
Three Months $5 Full access to the forum: post questions, download attachments, send and receive private messages, request service manuals, and post classified ads.
Apprentice Appliantologist, First Class One Year $15 Same as above but for a one-year term.
Chief Apprentice Appliantologist Life $40 Same as above but never expires; Bonus: you get a secret access link to the Samurai's ever-expanding stash of repair manuals!

The annual and quarterly programs do not automatically renew so at the end of your term, you'll go back to being a Grasshopper.  But you can renew as often as you need to.  Apprentices who subscribed under the old one-size-fits-all program are Senior Apprentice Appliantologists and have a lifetime membership in the forum. 

I've also updated the forum tutorial screencast to explain these new apprenticeship choices.   

Shortly after I rolled out this new program, I received this thoughtful and erudite email:  
Are you serious???  You want me to pay to participate in your forum.  No Thanks!
I know, that's exactly what I said when my web host wanted me to pay just to host the forum on their server.  They sent me a bill and I wrote 'em back, "Are you serious???  You want me to pay to host my forum on your server?  It should be free 'cuz it's on the innernet an' all!  No thanks!"  So they shut down the forum.  Can you believe those frikkin' people?  Isn't that outrageous?  Why can't everything just be free and we all wallow around in a big free pig pen where we can take anything we want because nothing is worth anything? 

Remember: it's still all you can read for free.  You can search and read all you want.  But if you want to download any of the thousands of illustrative attachments or post questions, you'll need to become an Apprentice Appliantologist of some flavor.  One way is to make a modest love-offering for the apprenticeship program of your choice, as described above.  But let me tell you of another way ...

Appliantologist Merit Exam

Now you can earn a scholarship in the forum by scoring high enough on the critically-acclaimed Appliantologist Merit Exam (AME).  If you score 75% or higher (get at least 15 correct), you are eligible for a complimentary upgrade to Merit Apprentice Appliantologist.  If you score 100%, then you are eligible for a complimentary upgrade to Buckaroo Banzai Appliantologist (in case you don't get the reference to Buckaroo Banzai, see this page).   This is a one-shot deal-- no re-takes.  So if you don't score at least 75% on your first try, then you'll need to make a modest love-offering to the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums to become an Apprentice Appliantologist.  Register in the forum before you take the exam because you need to provide your forum username with your exam results.  

So if you got what it takes to become one of the most fearsome and elite appliance repair shock troops the world has ever seen, come take the exam and let's see whatcha got!  

The AME is a collaborative work product of the Academy of Sublime Masters of Appliantology and is an evolving work in progress.  The format, content, and criteria of the exam can and will improve over time as the Academy convenes to review the exam and incorporate new and emerging issues in appliance repair.  

New Forums

We've added several new forums to the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums that you'll probably be interested in at some point during your appliantological musings:

Appliance Service Manual Requests

Sometimes, you don't really need to post a question in the laundry or kitchen forum; you just need a tech sheet or a service manual without having to explain what's wrong with the appliance.  The Appliance Service Manual Requests forum is your stairway to service manual heaven.  Post the brand, model number and type of info you're seeking and, if we have it, we'll get it to you.  

Find a Local Tech

So you tried the DIY thing and it just wasn't your cup o' kimchi.  You've decided it's time to call in a pro.  But how do you find a competent and honest repair company?  Start with the Find a Local Tech forum.  The servicers here are all Master Appliantologists and many are frequent contributors to these hallowed pages.  

Water Treatment

Protect your appliances and precious bodily fluids from the ravages of contaminated water!  The Water Treatment forum is the place to share and get information about selection, installation, troubleshooting, and repair of water softeners and filters and to discuss water quality issues.   


The Samurai Appliance Repair Forums get about 10,000 pairs of unique eyeballs a day.  One day we thought, "Hmm, that's enough eyeballs to make for some good classified ads action."  So we added a Classifieds forum with several sub-forums:

Appliance Parts Junkyard for trading used appliance parts. For new parts, click here.

Used Appliance Trading Post for buying and selling used appliances, major and minor, big and small, indoor and outdoor.

Services Wanted for whether you're looking for graphics design help, database programming, web design, whatever, post it here.

Services for Hire where you can hang your shingle out to offer your services to folks all over the world. 

The Classifieds forums are a free service open to all Apprentice-grade members and above.

Microsoft Strikes Again!

Years ago, against my better judgement, I set up thousands of appliance repair photos on MSN groups.  I spent countless hours going through each one, lovingly categorizing and annotating them so they would be as self-explanatory as possible.  And then I spent thousands of more hours writing content at that linked to those photos.  Yes, I knew Microslop had a well-developed skill for burning their customers but I did it anyway because all those years spent in government schools during my youth left me with the critical thinking skills of a dishwasher drain pump.  And sure enough, Microslop didn't disappoint!  They closed MSN groups and all those links to photos at MSN groups are now broken.  I'm going through finding and fixing what I can.  If you run across any pages with broken MSN groups links, please send me the URL to that page with the bad link.  Domo!

Need Parts?

We got 'em for every brand and model, in stock and ready to rock.  Best of all, you get a 30-day, no-hassle return policy on all parts, even electronic control boards that were already opened and installed.  

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Domo for surfing into for appliance repair help.  And double-domo for taking the time to slog through this newsletter.  If you have any comments or suggestions, lemme know.  

Samurai Appliance Repair Man

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