The Irish Jubilee
Traditional Recitation
transcribed from a performance by our friend Andy's father,
Patrick Naughton
A short time ago, boys, an Irishman named Doherty
Was elected to the Senate by a very large majority
He felt so elated that he sent for Dennis Cassidy
A man that owned a bar-room of a very large capacity
Said Doherty to Cassidy, "Go over to the brewer
for a thousand kegs of lager beer and give’em to the poor.
"Go down to the butcher shop and order up a ton o’ meat
Make sure
to see the boys and girls get all they want to drink and eat.
"Send out invitations in fifty different languages
tell’em all remember they should bring their own sangwidges.
"Tell em that the music will be furnished by O’Rafferty
Assisted on the bagpipes by Felix McAfferty
"Whatever the amount’d be, remember, I’ll put the tin
And those that do not come at all, be sure you do not let them in."
Cassidy at once sent out the invitations
And everyone that came were a credit to their nations.
Some came on bicycles, because they hadn’t fare to pay
And those that didn’t come at all made up their minds to stay away
In
twos and threes
and fours and fives they marched into the dining hall
Young men and old men, and girls that weren’t men at all.
Single men and double men and chessmen who could pass a pawn
Blind men and deaf men, and men that had their glasses on.
Before many minutes
every chair was taken
And front rooms and mushrooms were stuffed to suffocation.
When everyone was seated and we thought ‘twas time to start the feast
Cassady stepped up and says, "Give’em each a cake of yeast."
Then acting as manager, he said he’d try and fill the chair,
Then each of us sat down on ours and gazed upon the bill of fair.
There was pigs’ heads, goldfish, mockingbirds and ostriches,
Ice cream, cold cream, vaseline and sausages
Blue fish, green fish, fishhooks and partridges,
fish-balls snowballs cannonballs and cartridges.
Then we ate the oatmeal till we could hardly stir about,
Catsup and hurry-up, sweet kraut and sauerkraut
We had roast beef, naked beef, beef with all its dresses on
soda crackers, fire crackers, Limburgh cheese with tresses
on.
We had reindeer and snow deer, dear me and antelope
the girls ate so much melon the boys all said they can’t elope.
For dessert we had tooth picks, ice-skip, and skipping rope
all washed down with a big piece of shaving soap.
Then the band played up old tunes and spittoons so very fine,
Then McAffery the piper handed each a glass of wine.
We welted the floor till we were heard for miles around.
When Gallagher was in the air his feet was never on the ground.
Some danced jig steps, door steps, and three-hand-reels
And they danced to the music of The Wind that Shakes the Barley-meals.
As fine a set of dancers you never set your eyes upon
And those who couldn’t dance at all were dancing with their slippers on.
When the ball was over Cassady he told us
Join the hands together now, and sing the good old chorus.
(sung)
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Wherever you may be,
T'ink of the good old times we had at the Irish Jubilee” |