Appliantology Newsletter, Winter 2011

0. Introduction
1. It's the exciting dishwasher issue!
2. Uncommonly delicious parts return policy
3. New merit apprenticeship program
4. Samurai News®
5. Mrs. Samurai's dojo
6. Story time
7. Hillstomping update
8. Domo!

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0. Introduction

From deep within the bowels of frozen Yankeeland, in the foothills of the
White Mountains and finally dug out from under 13 feet of fresh, pristine
global warming, it's another steamy issue of Appliantology. Movin' on...

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1. It's the exciting dishwasher issue!

This is the issue you've all been laying awake at night for, checking the
inbox on your iPhone every hour, suffering irritability with your spouse
and fatigue at work. Now, the wait is over. Yes, my brothers and sisters,
just in time for that visit from your mother-in-law, I bring you
_Appliantology: The Dishwasher Issue_.

Here are some recent pearls of dishwasher wisdom I've cast since the last
issue of Appliantology:

Cheat sheet for whupping up on the "Clean light blinking 7 times" problem
in Whirlpool and Kitchenaid dishwashers -

Putting a GE Monogram dishwasher with membrane control pad into Test Mode -

GE Profile dishwasher making a high-pitched squealing noise from control
board -

Special repair trick for LG dishwashers with slow or no drain problem -

Maytag dishwasher MDBH955AWB: He's dead, Jim -

KitchenAid Dishwasher KUDI24SE -- No power -

Dishwashers and hard water: getting the best possible results -

A fantastic photo essay detailing the disassembly of the motor-pump on the
new Bosch Ascenta dishwashers, an Internet premiere exclusive! -

All dishwasher repair posts -

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2. Uncommonly delicious parts return policy

OMG, so you know my crazy parts partner has finally gone off the deep end.
Yeah, they're like teutally giving a 365-day, no-hassle return policy on
ALL appliance parts, even electronic parts that have already been
installed! Is that nuts? Ya sure, ya betcha! So they're like teutally
taking the risk out of DIY appliance repair.

Look, I can help you troubleshoot your appliance and I can usually get you
right to the problem. But the fact is that you're out there somewhere and
and I'm up here in Yankeeland; it just ain't the same thing as being right
there at the appliance, listening to it, smelling it, feeling it, tasting
it... yes, appliance repair is a full contact sport!

Well, to level the playing field, my crazy parts partner is offering an
unheard of return policy: return parts for a full year with no hassle.
Just use the parts search box in the sidebar at ( ) or the parts search box at the top of ( ) or any of the appliance
parts banners or links on those sites to buy parts.

Read more about this insane return policy here:

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3. New merit apprenticeship program

Here at Samurai International Headquarters, we are impassioned supporters
of meritocracy. Any meritocracy. As far as we're concerned, the more the
meritier... or something like that. As someone who speaks 17 self-invented
languages fluently, it is difficult gearing down to this guttural
gum-smacking that you Ameedeekans call "Engrish."

So, anyone who contributes good repair content can earn an upgrade from
Grasshopper to Merit Apprentice in the repair forums.

Apprentices at the Samurai School of Appliantology (
) enjoy many perks over Grasshoppers:

- request service manuals in the Appliance Service Manual Request forum;
- access the other forums besides just the Kitchen and Laundry forums;
- edit your own posts;
- send and receive private messages (PMs) which can include links to
service manuals;
- download/upload/view the thousands of illustrative and illuminating
- post replies to other topics that you didn't start.

To be an Apprentice, you can either subscribe to one of the Apprenticeship
programs (Basic, Annual, or Permapprenticehip) or you can earn it. Yep,
all of us here at Samurai International Headquarters are tickled to the
point of incontinence to announce our new Merit Apprenticeship program
where you can earn your apprenticeship through a quid pro quo kind of a
deal. It made a big splash. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

Here's the deal: if you contribute original repair material suitable enough
to be featured on you will be awarded a Merit Apprenticeship.
An example of this would be a series of photos of an appliance repair you
did with captions that explain what's going on. The common way a
Grasshopper will earn his (or her) Merit Apprenticeship is by posting
photos of his craftsmanship in the Samurai School ( )
as the culmination of their forum topic, kind of like a Master's thesis.
The criteria is this: could another Grasshopper come along later and gain
crucial insight into doing the repair from your original photos and
commentary? If yes, then *ding-ding-ding!* you win the Golden Calf. But
since a grumpy old dude with a shiny face melted down our last golden calf,
you'll have to settle for a Merit Apprenticeship.

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4. Samurai News®

>> I've been experimenting with offering help via texting. It's been great
for answering quickie questions, helping folks find information at my site,
and resolving site log-in problems. Because of the limiting and kludgy
nature of texting, if someone needs more detailed troubleshooting and
repair help, I'll refer them to the Samurai School. But texting can be a
good way to get started. Or maybe you just wanna reach out and say,
"Konnichiwa, Samurai-san! Anata wa buto des, na?" Bring it:

>> The new home of the Samurai appliance repair forums, a.k.a., the Samurai
School of Appliantology ( ), is rockin' along. Stop
by and say hey. If you're a professional appliance repair tech, email me
and let me know, tell me a little about your background, and you'll get
upgraded to Master Appliantologist at the forums.

>> Well, after being on Flickr for over five years, I'm being evicted.
Seems that someone complained to Flickr about some of my appliance repair
photos having the text, "Buy appliance parts at"
imprinted on them. They thought it was too commercial on how-to appliance
repair photos and diagrams that I was giving away for FREE. Yep, some
people will even complain about something when it's free. And Flickr
agreed with them.

So I've moved all my photos to ( ) which, as it turns out, is a superior
image hosting service anyway and they don't have a neo-marxist hangup about
someone promoting their website or bidness through their photos. But it
also means I need to change the photo links embedded in over 400 posts at
my blog,, from Flickr to Smugmug. Oy!

BTW, if you want to try out Smugmug, here's my referral link to signup for
a free trial: .
If you do decide you like 'em and sign up for a permanent account, I'll
earn a $10 referral credit to use toward my account renewal. Domo!

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5. Mrs. Samurai's dojo

Take a little respite from your appliance repair concerns in Mrs. Samurai's
dojo. Come on in and make yourself at home, and I'll serve up some tasty
tidbits on other aspects of home living, such as some of the Samurai's
favorite recipes.

Everybody from Popeye to your mama has been telling you to eat more greens
because they're so good for you. But the leafy greens aren't always
popular with folks, especially kids, because they think they are gross in
some way. Here is an awesome recipe either for the greens nay-sayers, or
those who just want a different way to cook ‘em than what they've been
doing. My kids fight over these.

Krispy Kale

What you'll need:

Kale - either one really big bunch or two smaller (see note)
Extra-virgin olive oil
sea salt

large bowl
a couple of large baking sheets
2 wire cooling racks that fit on top of the baking sheets (see note)

What to do:

Preheat your oven to 350 deg.

Tear the kale leaves off of their stems. They should be torn roughly the
size of tortilla chips. Rinse and dry them as much as possible (a salad
spinner works perfectly).

In a large bowl, toss the kale with a pretty good-size drizzle of olive oil
and some salt, then spread it evenly on the wire racks placed on top of the
baking sheets. Bake for about 15 minutes until nice and crispy. The
leaves will darken somewhat. Enjoy right away!

Serves about 4-6 as a side dish.

Note: this recipe only seems to work with kale and its curly leaves. Any
of the flat-leaved greens don't crisp up properly. Also, be sure to use
the wire racks - if you put the kale directly on the baking sheets, you
would have to turn all the pieces halfway through the cooking to avoid
sogginess - tedious!

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6. Story time

Lance DeMoi and the Blood Wand

A short story by Stephen Brown

[Lance DeMoi, the top agent of the Department of Paranormal Investigation
and Research, is sent on a mission in England where a mysterious group of
vampires have threatened to use an ancient artifact against the living.
Lance must venture through a dark and menacing forest to stop them, where
he will meet both new friends and new enemies. If he does not find and
destroy the relic in time, then all of the UK could fall under a vampiric
shadow. But will Lance be able to defeat the chief vampire before it is
too late?]

Lance DeMoi leaned against a bulkhead in the plane; he could feel the
vibrations of the engines on his back. DPIR agents milled about the plane,
carrying out different tasks. Lance's handler, Agent Grey, walked over to
where he was sitting.

"DeMoi, you know the mission, you know who to kill, and to retrieve the
Blood Wand. You'll be dropped in this forest," Grey pulled out a map.
"Here, a few miles south of London, the vampire colony is nested here, in
some ruins of a faerie fort. We need you to execute this quickly DeMoi –
we believe they are on some ceremonial schedule – get the Wand before

Lance nodded sleepily; it was 11:30 PM. He had drunk two cups of coffee,
but he was still tired.

"Getting fatigued in my old age," Lance mumbled.

"Oh please," Grey sighed as he walked away.

The plane reached London, a great sea of lights in the early morning
darkness. Lance pulled on his parachute and proceeded to the hatch. Grey
ambled over.

"Parachute?" The handler asked.




"Extra headset?"

(krk)"Check. Over."(krk).

"Array of stakes?"

Lance slapped his belt, jangling the stakes together.

"Revolver with silver bullets?"

"Shiny." Lance pulled out his revolver and cocked it.

"All right, Jason open the hatch," said Grey. The agent by the door opened
it; a blast of cold, morning air smacked Lance in the face, and his ears
were filled with the roaring of the engine and the wind. He braced himself
against the doorway, his face turning slightly green; heights had always
bothered him.

"Afraid of heights? Even after all these years?" Grey smirked as he
started to walk away.

"Aren't you going to wish me luck?"

Grey grunted.

"I'm so lucky to have you as my handler." And with that, he jumped from
the plane, into the night and the forest below.

Read the rest of Part 1 of this story here:

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7. Hillstomping update

An Appliantology newsletter just wouldn't be complete without a
hillstomping update. Thankfully, all this global warming has brought
tremendous amounts of snowfall and record cold temps, so the winter hiking
in the White Mountains has been outstanding this year. The best one so
far, though, was the recent hike the Oz Man (my semper fi canine hiking
partner) and I did up Mts. Methodius and Elijah in the Northern Saints
range (some people still call these by their old political names of Mts.
Madison and Adams in the northern presidential range).

Turn your speakers up and click full screen mode to get the full effect of
the slideshow. Kick back and enjoy!

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8. Domo!

Finally, I want to shout out a big fat "DOMO!" to all the fine Master
Appliantologists who help answer questions in the repair forums. We learn
from each other and we freely share our knowledge with all seekers as a
totally free-will, voluntary love-offering to you. If one of these fine
Masters helped you with your repair and saved you some coin, let 'em know!

Budget Appliance Repair
certified tech group 51
Southern Appliance
Trying to help


Samurai Appliance Repair Man

SMS==> 603-505-8460

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