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CONNECTION, CONNECTION, CONNECTION
There are many reasons why speakers don't connect with and engage their audiences.
Whatever the reason for the disconnect, picking up this simple yet significant technique of using the word: ‘you’ in a singular sense, will set you apart from the average speaker.
Let’s discuss: Why to use the word 'you' in the singular, When to use it and How to use it
Why:
How often have you heard a speaker (the average speaker) say:
"How many of you...?"
"Has anyone here...?' "
"All of you may know that..."
"Does everyone/anyone know...?"
"Who here knows...?"
"Some of you may ..."
"Those of you who have..."
How often have you yourself uttered questions or statements similar to those above?
When you hear those kinds of questions, or statements, the speaker is addressing everyone as a whole... yet, in fact ... no one individually!
If you were talking to one person, you likely wouldn't say: "How many of you ever have...?"
(unless the person had multiple personalities!!) You would say: "Have you ever...?"
To create a one-on-one connection so audience members say: "Wow, he or she is speaking directly to me!" you do this by speaking to one person with your content using the word 'you' and deliver it by looking at everyone with your eyes. "Speak to one, look to all!"
When to use 'you':
1.Before a story to get their attention getting their minds engaged and curious
How: "TAP in their world" - ask a YOU-FOCUSED question or
- give a YOU-FOCUSED statement and/or
- promise a YOU-FOCUSED benefit
"Raise your hand if..."
"It may interest you to know that..."
"Did you/ have you ever...?"
"When was the last time you..?"
"Did you know that...?"
"In the next few minutes, you will pickup/hear/discover/ receive/get ..."
2.At the start to your story to invite them gently into your scene/story
How: "TRANSPORT them into your world." – use YOU-FOCUSED statements
“Had you been swimming with me in that cool ocean water, you would have seen ...."
"I wish you had been there as you would've heard..."
"If, like me, you own a house, you may have experienced ...."
"I don't know about you but I ...."
3. During your story to give the audience opportunities to reflect on their own lives, and to also draw on similarities between you and them (avoiding making yourself 'special')
How: Touch base with them periodically as you would in conversation with 'you' rhetorical questions.
"Can you relate to that?"
"As an (adult, engineer, parent, etc.), you know that....."
"Since we are human, you can readily imagine how...."
4. At the close of your story to discuss the emotional shift and life-changing results of the process learned by the story character, so the audience can indentify with the message, buy into it and take action, and also to re-cap the You-focused benefit(s)
How: Transform the message of your story on to your audience
"What will it take for you to...?"
"The next time you find yourself in a situation where...you may wish to opt for..."
"If you choose to adopt ... you will be amazed at..."
To re-cap, in order for people to take action they need to feel involved mentallly and emotionally while hearing a story; consequently, use this superb strategy to have them at 'hello' and good-bye'!!!
Until then, happy speaking!
Join me next month when we discuss the letter "Z" the last of the storytelling tip series.
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