Halloween is upon us, but (aside from eating candy)
I've been too uptight about politics to get into a holiday mood. We'll have fun this weekend, though.
Some very young children will be coming to the early sets at the Essex Pumpkin Fest on Saturday, so I'll probably dust off "I am the Ghost of Mabel Able" again. It's a little risky, once introduced it becomes ridiculously popular with the 4 to 12 year old set. A long time ago,
a kid told it during one of my early school residencies, and the audience howled with joy. I've picked up several versions, but this has the (to children) irresistible last word.
Folktales are ageless, by and large, but don't waste this one on adults or teens.
* * *
Once upon a time there was a family: there was a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, and a little baby. They all moved into a new house, but what they didn't know-- it was haunted.
On the first night they moved in, they were all sitting in the living room watching TV, and the sister said, "I'm hungry, I'm going to get a snack." He went into the kitchen and opened the cabinet, and inside there was-- a ghost! And the ghost said:
(very creepy voice)
"I am the ghost of Mabel Able, put your money on the table."
And the sister went “AAAAA! A ghost! a ghost!” and she ran back into the living room. “A ghost, there’s a ghost in the kitchen!” And she jumped behind the sofa: "A ghost a ghost! Aaaaa!"
So then her brother said, “Scairdy-cat. Scairdy-cat! I ain’t afraid of no ghost!” And he went into the kitchen. And the voice came again:
“I am the ghost of Mabel Able, put your money on the table.”
And the brother went “AAAAAA! A ghost! A ghost!” and he ran back behind the sofa with his sister.
And the mother said, “Oh, you two. You’re being silly. I’ll show you, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” And she went into the kitchen.
She turned around and said, “See?”
And the voice came: “I am the ghost of Mabel Able, put your money on the table.”
And the mother went “AAAAAA! A ghost! a ghost!” And she ran into the living room, and dove behind the sofa on top of the children.
Then the father said, “This is ridiculous. There’s no such thing as ghosts. I’m going to put an stop to this nonsense right now.” And he went into the kitchen.
“I am the ghost of Mabel Able, put your money on the table.”
And the father went “AAAAAAA! A ghost, a ghost!” And he jumped behind the sofa with everybody else. And they were all holding on to each other, and shaking, and saying “a ghost! a ghost! Oh no! A ghost!”
So then the baby said "I'm hungwy."
(be the baby)
He walked into the kitchen.
He got up and stood on a chair and opened the cabinet. And out came-- the ghost!
“I am the ghost of Mabel Able, put your money on the table.”
And the baby said: (very bold and snotty) “Well, I’m the ghost of Peter Piper, put your money in my diaper!”
