Last month, while the majority of Americans were happily trying to figure out how to cheat on their New Year's resolutions, a minority of Americans were angrily trying to figure out how to overthrow the government.
As we all know systematic, violent injustice is always a good reason to overthrown an oppressive government.
Power to the People!
But the problem with the Insurrection of 2021 was that, while the participants have been subject to the same inequities of Capitalism, the economic oppression of Wall Street, and the disempowerment endemic to the Working Class in a corporatist nation, those weren't the things they were super concerned about.
Basically a bunch of lying grifters convinced a bunch of ignorant yahoos that since they didn't get exactly what they wanted, how they wanted, and when they wanted they lived in a socialist dictatorship.
We all know that mishandled votes, rehandled votes, unhandled votes, re/un/misshandled votes, human trafficking, Antifa, lizard people, baby eating Commies, Zionist space lasers, Clintonian face filleting, the Lost Cause of the Confederacy, and the inevitable International Jewish Conspiracy were also on the long list of rabid rabbit holes this ragged gaggle of Duck Dynasty extras excitedly quacked about as they trampled the cops they professed to respect - but the big thing was that these adult two year-olds hadn't gotten their way!
So, like all two years olds, they threw a tantrum. Only with body armor.
These dark-web obsessed internuts had been told by every tv station, YouTube stream, blog, and Reddit diaperchamp that there was no way their blessed candidate could lose, could not be the Ordained Forever President of Whitelandia. So when Spray-tan Nero failed to secure an electoral majority, when in the real world their Unquestionable Savior lost, it created a cognitive dissonance, a logical impossibility. One of the two facts had to be false, and to keep the dissonance from driving them crazy(er) they discarded the Age of Reason and went full Middle Ages, including pitchforks and horned helmets.
But underlying the Crazed Confederates of the Cloth and the Rise of the Qidiots is something more fundamental: the impending crescendo in our centuries-long struggle against something as American as slave-made apple pie - Minority Rule.
For all of its history the United States has been ruled by a racial, gender, and economic minority, a tiny, tiny group, keeping power through lies, disenfranchisement, and a combination of economic violence and terror. Who is this powerful minority? Blacks? Jews? Baby eating undocumented Jewish Black lesbian Lizard people? Nope - it's Rich White Men. That's right - the people who have spent all these decades scapegoating other "minorities" have themselves always been the most powerful, entitled minority in US history.
And, as has happened so many times before, they have once again convinced a group as dissimilar to them economically as they are similar in hue that victory is the birthright of the melanin light, and that anything less is an affront to their god, their nation, and is the first step in being "REPLACED,” whatever that means. For them the 45th president of the United States was not a crooked businessman who sucked at golf and who hadn’t gotten past the word “con” in Constitution - he was the embodiment of White Male Privilege, the Great White Hope for the Great White Hopeless, the Savior for those who had been convinced their Whiteness was their most precious blessing.
And while falling for a meticulously created grift engineered by an aristocracy of besuited criminals might be hard to avoid, the fact is these terrorist jamokes were all adults who, of their own free will, fell for this face-eating, leaping lizards, Jews in Space, anti-democratic conspiracy crap.
What a bunch of dangerous, dangerous idiots.