The Weekly Hash Headlines from Newcastle Hash House Harriers
The Boathouse, Wylam
Hares Counterfeit and Gandalf
"I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging" said Gandalf to the landlord of The Boathouse "and it's very difficult to find anyone".
The publican eyed him suspiciously, "I should think not in these parts. We are plain quite folk who have no use for adventures, nasty disturbing uncomfortable things that make you late for dinner.!"
"However", he said noting the crestfallen expression of the wizard, "there's some bonkers folk in the pub garden dressed in strangely modern attire who look like they might be up for a bit of an adventure.
And so it came to pass that Gandalf set off from the little town of Wylam followed by an enthusiastic band of hashers, into the Edge of the Wild. As the familiar landscape gave way to the new and unfamiliar, the hashers became disorientated and confused. Food supplies were beginning to run low, the hash banana being consumed early on and soon only the 1 perennial cereal bar carried by Grasshopper since the dawn of time remained. Morale was beginning to sink.
"This road goes ever,ever on" moaned Pimp who was by far the slowest , having barely exercised over the last year. Bedtime Storey and Inncon's waddled alongside him, their huge bodies wobbling dangerously, as they trailed at the back of the group.
"Lets go and find the maneating trolls/ goblins/ dodgy elves/mysterious lake people/dragon/gold/clash of 5 armies" (delete as appropriate) shouted an overexcited Om ( for whom health and safety had never figured largely in his life).
Suddenly they came across a strange marking on the ground.
"These are elvish runes" pronounced Speedbump knowingly "we must gather here at this mark and wait for the stragglers".
And so the journey continued, the hashers checking out all the ways when directed by the Wizard.
As they approached the Big Road, Gandalf paused, he struck his staff on the path and in a flash disappeared up the path.
Leaderless the hash fell into confusion and despair and began to stray from the path,
A group of dark shapes appeared in the distance and the hash shrank back in terror,
Its... The Walkers
And so barely pausing to shake the shiggy from their shoes the hash leapt over the magic bridge, and plunged back into reality for a sing song at the car park followed by some tasty b*det snacks provided by Counterfeit. A fantastic hash thanks to the hares.
Stats and special notices
rings to rule them all - 1
Hash hounds -1
shiggy - ever present
Labour parties - 1
On on Grasshopper
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