Appliantology Newsletter
How to Use Your Dryer to Get Out of Your Mortgage
  January 2013
 
Presents Another Award-Winning Issue of
 
How to Use Your Dryer to Get Out of Your Mortgage
Lots of folks out there are upside down in their house mortgage.   One way to get out of that mortgage is to walk away from the house, the so-called "jingle mail."   The problem with this is that it leaves you with nothing. Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a way to get out of your mortgage and at least get a few bucks for starting over? Well, in this issue of Appliantology, the Samurai is gonna 'splain how to do that using your dryer, of all things.
 
Just think for minute: what would happen if your dryer or dryer vent caught fire and burned down your whole house?
 
At first, you may say, "Samurai, whatchoo been smokin' tonight?"
 
"Ah, Grasshopper," I sagely reply as I quaff a cold Long Trail Ale, "Can you say, 'insurance settlement?'"
 
Ouch!  I think I just blinded myself from that lightbulb going off over your head.
 
Now, lemme just make one thing perfectly clear: I am NOT talking about arson because even suggesting that is against the law.   Instead, what I'm talking about is simply avoiding using some inexpensive products that could prevent a dryer-originated house fire.
 
 
Awwite, grab 'hold of those two squishy lumps at the base of your spine and let's get ready to R-R-R-R-RUMBL-L-L-L-E!
Let's Focus on the Dryer Vent...
Since it's much easier to get a fire started in the dryer vent rather than in the dryer itself, you'll get the biggest burn for your buck by focusing on the vent first.   To ensure that your dryer vent is fertile ground for starting a fire, make sure it conforms to most or all of the red "don'ts" in the illustration below:
 
 
Since your objective is to maximize the opportunities for a fire to start, the first thing you want to do is make sure you're using the white plastic collapsible hose for your dryer vent material.  Make sure your dryer is not made of UL-approved, metal duct materials like this convenient dryer venting kit.
 
 
 
 
Since dryer vent back pressure is a pretty good indicator of retained heat and therefore fire hazard, you should buy this dryer vent back pressure tester to help you maximize the back pressure in your dryer.   Think of it this way: the higher the back pressure, the closer you are to that big home fire insurance payout-- the coveted Mortgage Golden Parachute (MGP)!
 


Oh, and word to the wise: if the insurance inspector comes around, make sure you don't have one of these dryer vent lint eaters laying around or he'll start asking questions like, "When was the last time you used this?"  You just don't need that kind of hassle and suspicion.   You just want to collect your payout and move on.
Special Opportunities for Gas Dryers
Gas dryers present a special opportunity for really spectacular house fires because you're dealing with a combustible gas that's under pressure right up to the gas valve in the dryer.  To help maximize the strategic opportunities for some fireworks from your house that are sure to make the 6 o'clock news, you could use this gas leak detector and check for leaks at the fittings in the tubing feeding your gas dryer.   Obviously, if you find any leaks, just leave them alone.  Better yet, they could present a special weak point that you could exploit to speed things along by banging on the fittings, for example.   And then just be patient and let the natural gas or propane work it's magic. Cha-ching!
 
Monitoring vent back pressure in gas dryers is especially easy using this Lintalert gadget.   Just plug the Lintalert into the outlet and then plug your gas dryer into the Lintalert.   Then just monkey around with the dryer vent until you get the Lintalert to register in the red zone and you'll know you're on your way to that coveted MGP!
On the Other Hand...
Maybe you like your house and your stuff and would like to keep it all.  Well then, all the tools and gizmos discussed above could be used to prevent a dryer or house fire and have the safest set up possible. 
Questions?
Come see us in the Appliantology Academy where we dispense pearls of Appliantological wisdom all day long. Become an Apprentice and you can start new topics, download service manuals, chat with the Masters, and a whole lotta mo' goodies. Hope to see you there!
Samurai Appliance Repair Manb, www.Appliantology.org

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