I was sittin' on South Beach here in Point Roberts, my back up against a log while sippin' Arrogant Bastard Ale, the antidote to all this NSA spyin' misery. My Laser was rigged and actin' like she wanted to take off like a bat out of hell across the Georgia Straight all the way over to Galiano Island and I hadn't even launched her. She was sittin' on the dolly with the southwesterly wind causin' her sail to shake so hard bow to wind that I thought the battens would shake loose before I could launch.
Out on the straight I was planing as dramatically as Will Spencer who got this Laser up to hull speed at 18 knots in similar 25 knot conditions. I got hungry after sailing, so headed over to the Point Roberts Community Center where they have the "Seniors Lunch" on Fridays.
They let me in because I'm over age 50, and I decided to goof on 'em, so I brought an empty bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale in and pretended to be drunk, slurring my words, sayin' stuff like "Arrrr!!! Breakfast of Champions!" and pointing to the bottle which was empty but since its dark brown glass you can't tell that. (Best thing about sulfur is that it makes you feel very happy from all the oxygenation, so you smile and joke around a lot more like this, and the more you smile, the more serotonin your body produces.) (Serotonin is the "feel good" neurotransmitter.)
Well, I started catchin' some flack from a few of the Gestapo element inside the seniors lunch who started comin' up to me sayin' "you can't bring that bottle in here" (I said "Why not? Its empty!!") They said "Theres no alcohol allowed!" I said "Well I never brought any in here, so whats the problem, eh?" (Wasn't a lie, the bottle hadn't had any ale in it in about 3 months!)
I really only brought the Arrogant Bastard Ale bottle in to get a laugh out of people! Lord knows they need a laugh in the senior's lunch!Naturally they sicked the Whatcom County Sheriff's on me, and they were gonna put me on the coastguard boat to Bellingham Jail til they realized I'd "punked" 'em with my nefarious stunt, whereupon the cops had a hard time keepin' a straight face, and even THEY began to laugh! (Of course, I have these sheriffs drinkin' sulfur! Had to put 'em on it after they almost threw me in jail for what happened over at the APA Road Marxist Social Club, aka, the Trinity Lutheran church which had me trespassed for givin' that "politically incorrect" prayer!
I'm a 200 meter breast stroker. Thats one of the most grueling races in swimming. In a meet, when I swim 4 previous races, the 200 meter breast is often my last race, and I destroy my competition with my kick at the end because sulfur helps me oxygenate so much that its like having a reserve gas tank full of nitroglycerine on a race car to draw on! It gives any competitive athlete an almost unfair advantage! I sell lots to triathletes, marathoners, competitive swimmers, weight lifters, martial artists, all kinds of active people as well as folks who want to BE more active!
Ah yes, sportsfans, stock up before it runs out!! Sign up for autoshipping, order multiple pounds, and if you want to really save some more, do the 10 pound special (like getting 2 lbs FREE at the discounted rate of $32/ lb: just $320 for 10 lbs with FREE SHIPPING!! Pay for that at the IAHF paypal link here.